Thursday, April 8, 2010

becoming a mom

when I can't sleep, I blog.  I read blogs or I write on our blog.  The other night I stumbled upon the writings of a first time mom and felt an immediate connection to her.  My heart ached for her. I read her posts and remembered feeling the exact. same. way. I felt like she was writing about me and what I went through --adjusting to motherhood seven months ago. I am SO glad we are passed that now (or..until the next kid!)  I had a hard time adjusting to just about everything. However, God is so good and he was so faithful. We were blessed many times by our church family and by our own families-- without them.we would of been in trouble!   It wasn't until about the 4 month mark I felt a sense of normalcy again.  Now, I can't imagine life without our little guy.  :-)

{below} written by andrea...

There’s lots of things I wasn’t prepared for when becoming a mother. You think you know what it will be like, but you really have no idea. I had NO IDEA how much I would love this little man. Of course I knew I would love him, but the love I feel for him is really indescribable. I wish I could explain the feeling for those of you who don’t have kids, but I really can’t put it into words. I look at him every day and know I am blessed to have such a happy, healthy boy.

I had no idea how hard parenting would be. It’s stressful beyond belief at times. When he cries, there are times when I have no clue what to do to soothe him. I get just as upset as he does when he cries. My beautiful baby is a *tad* high maintenance, and he cries a lot.

I had no idea how tired I would be. When I was pregnant, people said “Get your rest now because you won’t get it once he’s here!” I brushed it off then, but now I wish I had stockpiled sleep like I stockpile toilet paper. Fatigue impacts you in ways you don’t expect. I am not a pleasant person to be around these days. 

I had no idea how out of control my hormones would be. Man! There are times when I feel really sorry for my husband One minute I’m crying and the next I’m angry beyond belief.

I had no idea how my relationship with my husband would change.  I had no idea what an imperfect mother I would be. I was so smug and self-righteous before I had the baby. “I will never do that!” came frequently out of my mouth. Whatever. I do what I have to do to survive these days. That might mean not cleaning the house for weeks or eating takeout more than I care to admit because I don’t have the time to cook. 
I had no idea how much my parents sacrificed & still do to this day.

However...At the end of the day, I had no idea how amazing this journey would be. As hard as it is, it is totally worth every tear, every frustration, and every lost hour of sleep I get. I love this little boy.


MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

I can relate to that on so many levels. And yet with each child, motherhood changes and grows and matures. I wouldn't trade this privilege for anything!

Laura said...

Oh Yeah. I remember those days. And honestly, there are some of those feelings that just stay... I always say that parenting is the hardest and best thing I've ever done. Each stage of their lives brings new challenges, and I only love them with more and more of my heart.

Dirty Hands-Beautiful Life said...

I had never felt so inadequate as I did from the moment I took my baby boy home. I felt like my husband thought I should have all the answers...I hope next time I can relax more and know that there are not any right/wrong answers with a newborn...

Count me as a follower:)

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